My mum Sheila Phillips
It’s often said we do not truly know how much someone means to us until the moment they’re no longer here. This sentiment particularly resonated with me earlier this year when my mum Sheila Phillips passed away at the ripe old age of ninety.
Mum was our buttress, our keystone, our guide and I know Sheila will be greatly missed by her children, grandchildren and numerous friends she left behind; all of whom would have been doubtless touched by her characteristic warmth, friendliness and infectious zest for life.
I am often asked by our customers at Sheila May’s about the lady who inspired the companion service which we established in the wake of her passing. By the way of a response, I thought I’d take this opportunity to share some of my enduring memories of mum and reflect on the qualities which to me made her special.
Born in Devon in 1931, Sheila from an early age loved to explore; she often recalled with fondness her childhood and how during the brilliant days of summer she’d ride her bike along the River Exe and picnic along her banks. Mum’s love for travel and the great outdoors would never dim, indeed she would discover broader horizons.
Following mum’s marriage to my dad Jack Phillips in 1952, the couple lived abroad for the next thirty years. Initially, Dad inspected schools in Nigeria and later in Cyprus before transferring to the British Council which promoted UK culture and education abroad.
“It’s often said we do not truly know how much someone means to us until the moment they’re no longer here.”
For a woman at the tender age of twenty-one to be whisked away to start a new life in this way would have been daunting for most but mum took to this change like a duck to water; supporting dad at the various receptions thrown by the Council. During one particularly memorable placement in Malaysia, mum and dad met several public figures which included the singer Cliff Richard, the prime minister Margret Thatcher and the England football team.
While dad loved rubbing shoulders with the movers and shakers from the world of politics, culture and sport, I’m convinced he would not be nearly as successful were it not for the dedication and support of mum by his side. In 1985, dad received a CBE for his contributions to public service.
When dad passed away in 2005, mum who had by this stage returned to the UK and like many who lose their spouse had to make significant adjustments. In Sheila’s case, one change she had to embrace was the need to drive again as dad would invariably have been the one found behind the wheel. Sheila bought a car and to her immense credit, mum continued to travel and explore as she always did.
Mum was the first to recognise how vitally important it was for her physical and mental wellbeing to continue to socialise and get out and about in her later years. Without her husband however, Sheila found the experience of day tripping alone an isolating one. By this stage, my siblings and I were leading our own lives and thus we weren’t able to accompany mum as often as we would have liked.
While we enlisted the services of carers, mum was frustrated that they seldom fulfilled the hours to which they had committed. This in many respects was the genesis for the companion service which Maggie and I ultimately established to provide the kind of support we were unable to provide for mum.
To many Sheila may seem like a larger-than-life figure but she will, for me, always be my mum.